Caregiver Hints

The Harriet Carter catalog is often a good place to find helpful care items.

One I saw recently is a MUST HAVE. The “What my Family should know” notebook is a handy repository for all that important information you will need to know if a loved one becomes too ill to take care of their affairs, and it’s only $10. My Mother didn’t share anything about her health or finances unless it was absolutely necessary, and when she began to get sick, I had to sort through piles of papers and disorganized folders to find out what I needed to take care of everything. There was a lot she didn’t even remember, like the insurance policy she had been paying on for years that expired about a year after I found the documentation. That would have really helped with the funeral expenses.

Don’t wait until your parents, or family, has already gotten ill, you may miss something. Get one of these notebooks and start meeting to write down all this handy info and keep it is a safe place…a safe-deposit box even. And make sure it gets updated!

Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language, and problem solving. (from Wikipedia)

Full entry on Dementia is here.

In the past, this condition was referred to as “senility” or “being senile”. I’m not certain, but I believe that the term senile began to have a derogatory connotation. To say someone was “senile” was associated with loosing one’s faculties and being forgetful. I remember this term is use as I was growing up. I believe the term “dementia” started as an academic or medical term for this, but seems to be gaining more popular usage in recent years.

My first introduction of the term came a few years ago with the diagnosis of my Mother’s mental state after a series of hospital stays. Also, it is very common for Assisted Living communities, or facilities, to perform mental acuity tests to determine what level of assistance the residence needs.

Diagnosis of dementia can be a sign of other health ailments, so it is best to consult a doctor about additional testing. In the case of my Mother, she had diabetes and during cases of low blood sugar, she would exhibit symptoms of disorientation and some memory loss. In her case, while this did amplify the problem, she also had regular dementia caused by micro-vascular strokes, a minor form of stroke that often has no outward symptoms, but over time can degenerate the brain’s function. Dementia, high blood pressure, or micro-strokes can be a sign of things to come, most likely more severe strokes which lead to paralysis and decrease in brain and body functions. This was the diagnosis for my Mom and the more severe stroking compounded with her other health problems was more than her body could take. Regular doctor visits are the best way to handle this, but be prepared that preventative measures may or may not be effective. This can be the toughest time during the care of an ailing family member because there seems to be little that you can do.

I will cover more of this in another posting.

NOTE: You should keep in mind that if someone is diagnosed with dementia, you may no longer be able to authorize a Power of Attorney or Will, since most legal entities will no longer allow individuals to sign such documents if there is evidence that they are not fit to make that decision. If you suspect that a family member is developing any impairment, or if your family has a history of mental disease, get this sort of paperwork done EARLY.

This is perhaps the most important legal document you will have to deal with next to a person’s will. For anyone who is about to begin the journey of caring for an aging parent or loved one, you will find that if this is not taken care of early enough, it will make the tasks of managing the person’s care and finances incredibly difficult.

For anyone who is facing the onset of dementia or Alzheimer’s in a parent, it will be really important to have a POA prepared and dealt with BEFORE the person is deemed unfit to authorize such a document.

I narrowly missed having my Mother officially diagnosed with dementia before getting this paperwork processed. To have a doctor officially make this diagnosis before your parent can make this decision, will make the ability to get legal approval to manage their assets extremely difficult.

I will be talking more about this with some details in the future. I only stumbled upon this fact accidentally and if I hadn’t found out until later, I would have had even more stress that I already had. You are going to need to find good legal advice to take on the variety of issues you will come across to care for a family member. The more prepared you are the better!